The Joy of Un-Masking

Fear has the ability to drive the ultimate duality - feelings of fear and of freedom.  When we are afraid is in fact by my rationale, when we find ourselves with the broadest range of options. Fight or flight, the literal physiological response that we face is in fact what we are also given the power to do.  After being assaulted a few years ago much of my time was spent focused on the fight.  It’s only just now I’ve been struck with a brush of luck that lets me fly in the most powerful way.

At 31 in moments of panic the universe lets me figure out the monumental or even mundane moments are chances to face the discomfort of feelings.    In my moments of panic I can settle my mind with batch recipes and edible skincare concepts.  The rush, the purity of self and of one resounding word - capacity.  You have it.  We all do.

HUE was created in the pandemic, when like so many of you, I had a panic of principle.  Have I fulfilled my purpose in life? When will I be able to connect again with others and experience the things that may never open again? More than anything I found myself dedicating more time to critiquing - ok let’s be real, picking apart is a more accurate phrase - of my appearance.  

While I was always into the makeup trends and had tons of nearly-full Urban Decay and Clinique intense color palettes ( amazing brands I might also add.  In my skincare first era I still rave about the Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizer Lotion) I never truly found comfort in my own skin.  Makeup for me was used more as a mask to hide the internal discomfort of baring my genetically inherited raccoon eyes for example.  I still enjoy both witnessing a gorgeous makeup masterpiece and being a subject for testing the latest mascara ( in a world of lashes I still love my classic mascara).  

I think what I realized is most important recently is that when we can see a version of ourselves that we admire, inside and out, it can help us soothe through the rejection of life.  We will inevitably face it after all.  From perceived slights we may one day find grace for the grudges that will remain in the trophy case maintained with regular dust offs of traumatic memory lane reviews.  Perfection is not possible and while I am so grateful to know that I can grab my favorite blush to boost up the glow in my cheeks when pure joy is not enough to deliver my natural shimmered cheek bone glow, I find that my favorite coverup these days is being willing to bare myself without one at all.